Thinking of HIM. His love for us. His incredible passion for our souls, and His willingness to fight such a battle for our hearts. Jesus to the rescue! And soon, Resurrection Sunday will be here, and what has my heart done to get ready?
As our household labors under the burden of grief, how does my heart prepare? I feel like the disciples falling asleep in the garden because I'm just flat tired. Weary of grief. Grieving is exhausting. I reach for His hand and know that I am held by God, but for that, I would lose hope here. Hear? I would lose hope and crumple into a ball at the bottom of my bed and pray that all the world would fall on top of me. Crush the life out of this great death that hangs off me now. Oh, God, be merciful to your servant. Be kind to this tender-hearted girl who is trembling. Crying out. For help. For comfort. For salvation. I remember...
I was driving the kids to music lessons sometime last year. I was upset in my spirit that I was not growing. Changing. I MUST be changing and growing, or I am dying. A born again still born can not be, and I was vexed beyond words. Frustrated with myself and with God.
And why in that moment, should He choose to speak to me? Little brat child having silent, bloody tantrum in the car?
"My Child, if you could see all that is happening in the unseen world. Right now. Your physical body would cease to exist. It would instantly DISINTEGRATE, and you would not have life, or breath, or children, or this car. With out ME. With out my sustaining power and might, all the earth would be laid to dust in a moment. Why are you worried? Why are you thrashing about, dear one? I hold all things together. Am I not capable of holding you as well? Your children? All of this? Who do you think is really in control, child?"
Then silence. Did the Risen Jesus just speak to my heart? And what do we make of these Words, dear friends? Is the God Who ROSE FROM THE DEAD not enough? And is the life He hung on the tree not enough? I ask myself. Did He not say, "It is finished?" And is He not holding all of us together? Right now. In the valley. On the mountain. Wherever He has you today?
Do we walk as children who are truly held in the very hands of God?
"I will lift up my eyes unto the hills, from whence comes my help. My help comes from the Lord, who made heaven and earth. He will not suffer your foot to be moved: He that keeps you will not slumber. Behold, He that keeps Israel shall neither slumber nor sleep. The Lord is your keeper; the Lord is your shade upon your right hand. The sun shall not smite you by day, nor the moon by night. The Lord shall preserve you from all evil; He shall preserve your soul. The Lord shall preserve your going out and your coming in from this time forth, and even for evermore." Psalm 121
Let us lay back on the holding arms of Jesus. Let us be held. Let us trust in the strong right arm of God, and the eternal saving grace of this Jesus. Let us live.