Thursday, December 8, 2011

Saying No So You Can Say Yes

She comes with tears and takes me by the hand to the school room where we can talk alone.  Her heart is carved deep with concern for the hardness of the world, and the way His people bend under the weight of it's load.  We stand holding hands and each other's eyes.  She asks if we can help them, and offers the rest of her life's birthdays and Christmases.  Is there anything in the budget pertaining to her that we can cut?  Can she take on some extra babysitting jobs so that she can give more, even if it means less time for our family?

Single silver tear slides down her loveliness, and I want to cup her face in my hands.  Hold the memory of her right now on my skin.  Her chin trembles.  My soul does.  The Strong Soft lifts life up high and asks me to reach for it.  Sixteen year old quiet hero.

Everyone knows how I love Christmas.  Love it.  I set my tree up on Halloween because Christmas is my favorite time of year to spend quiet time.  Love thinking about God.  Love the lights on the tree, the traditions, the gifts, and especially... the giving.   So what now?

I am lost in the deep green of eyes, and her lashes that shimmer with sorrow for a hurting world.  They lash me.  I thought this giving of our Christmas away was the end, but now I get it.  There are no endings in Christ, only beginnings.  We have been praying for revival in the hearts of our children so why should it come as a surprise to me that this young woman wants to be more like Jesus?  By laying her life down?

I reach to become like my daughter whose heart follows hard after her Father.  She won't be left in the dust by her Savior, but rather, she allows herself to become dust.  Deep breath.  I lay my life down too because I want to be more like this girl who keeps pointing the way.  Death for Life, and His Spirit in me says..."Yes."

"Whoever finds his life will lose it, and whoever loses his life for my sake will find it."
Matthew 10:39

I pull all that matters to my heart, and hold my girl become woman in these arms.  "Yes, Sarah."

Yes and Amen,


1 comment: