Fishing Men

Hands in sink suds and scrubbing.
Tears start and there is no stopping.
This scraped out hole he leaves.
Leaves me hollow.
My Shoulders catches me at it.
Catches me around the waist.
To hold me.  And hold me to all this.
Heart break in his eyes, and I can see.
No nest can hold back time and change and just plain leaving.
Tears splash dishes
Washing them with sorrow.
Sadness.
Trying to move.
Move on.
Without the Silent Deep in the everyday.
Without his speaking hand on my shoulder.
Without him laughing at my dumb jokes.
Without.  Joshua.
I thought the nets were all cast, you know?
"Cast your cares on HIM because HE cares for you."
But we're still letting them out.
Throwing them over the side of this holy boat.
Letting those nets float out across the wide open sea of his future.
And away from us.
That he may catch men.

Bernadette