The Strong Soft has been saying it for months. That she needs an acoustic guitar to better lead children's worship. Can I confess this irritation with her? For her sixteenth birthday, her dad and I purchased her "dream" guitar, an electric Gretch, and at not yet seventeen, I can't believe she thinks she needs another one. Makes me feel a bit hurt for some reason. She says that someone will give her a guitar because Jesus knows that she needs one. I kind of "humph" at this notion, but she persists. Believes. Trusts. Tells me that would not be too hard for God. "Humph!"
Driving on to youth group tonight, she said, "Maybe there will be a guitar for me at the coffee shop." I crawl into my skin...saying nothing. Feeling nothing. Being nothing.
I am meeting a dear friend, and we walk into the building together. That blond beauty goes on in ahead, and when I look at her again, she is walking toward me with a guitar case and a white piece of paper in her hand. From "Anonymous". From Jesus.
I literally fall to my knees. Shake my head, "NO!" "NO!" Weep at this gift! Weep at her faith! Weep at mine so sorely lacking! The way God uses my daughter's faith to scrape me up off the tar, and the way He shows me again, that He is here. That He is with me. That He's going to help me do the assignment, and that I don't have to do it alone. The way He just cradles my heart like that. I know, again, that He is a gentleman, and that He leads His sheep; He doesn't beat His sheep. A new day is dawning. Another freedom journal entry.