What happens when everything begins to unravel, and you can't find the end of the rope to tie a knot in? When the floor drops away, and your heart falls up into your throat? When it feels like God is taking you to pieces? And you have no peace?
You remember that you said "YES." because you wanted to obey Him with all your heart, but now you wish you could take it all back. Because this hurts, and you're blind there in the whirlwind, and all you can do is cry out his Name.
"JESUS! SON OF DAVID! HAVE MERCY ON ME!"
You are on your knees, and you are on your face, and you are on the phone begging anyone with a tongue and a heart for God to pray. And you want to hide in your bed all day because you're a cry baby, but you drive the children anyway to the silent howl of soul, and you come home to these pages and type yourself out to the world. And know you're crazy.
Oh, God! Let not the hurricane wind blow me off course! Remind me, again, that You have never broken a covenant. That You make them and keep them. That You are still in control here.
When all is wild,