Oh, brother

Brother calls today.
Hear the hurt in his voice.
But he's the big brother, right?
So we don't speak of it.
Just dance around the pain.  Piled.
Doing our best to hold each other.
At arm's length.
Doing what we can to say,
"I love you."
"You are important."
"Your life matters."
And it does.
Because who would I be with out him?
He painted the picture for me.
This loving Jesus.
This real Jesus.
Pursuing real relationship with all His messed up kids.
I want to trace his face with my fingers.
Remember him.
The way he never told me to go away.
How important he made me feel.  Still makes me feel somehow.
How he never lost his cool
When I got in his business, read his love letters, talked too much.
The way he never called me fat.
Never called me a cry baby.
Never made me cry.
Cradled all the tender heart of me.
With his.
No hook.  No barb.
SAFE.
Loved.
My brother.

Bernadette