Monday, October 17, 2011

A Confession

Barely under the quilts before the dam breaks wide.  A poison seed has taken root in my thought life.  Pressing hard down, and I am undone.  Little salt water river running repentence down my face and into my ears.  I have to confess it.  I know I do.

And so I begin, to the Shoulders holding my shoulder, this struggle that I've not been able to express to him, my best friend.  Because it's so stupid and silly that I can't even believe that I've been caught!  My foot trapped.  My walk snared by this ugly lie.

I have been jealous of beauty.  That bare crescent that was mine has long slipped away, and my thoughts have been altogether too much of her.  I feel sick, as the Lord creates a more beautiful me on the inside, where HE looks, I am unable to look away from the loveliness I see in others.  On the outside.

I told you it was silly and stupid! 

The Shoulders tells me this is wrong.  I know.  He asks me if I know why it's wrong.  I do.  He waits while I spill it all out, the ugliness, and how the lie makes me feel.  He prays for me, and I have peace.  Yes.  This is the power of a praying husband. 

Roll to my side and ask God to give me eyes to really see.  Myself.  Others.  The World.  To live this one life beautifully and to make beauty wherever I go.  To walk in the sweet aroma of Christ and all that I am in HIM.

To be a fragrance,


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